Saving Face

The following is a sermon I preached yesterday on Mark 6:14-29. Click here to read the scripture passage first.

Saving Face

If you have ever seen the movie Meet the Parents, you know that it’s one of those movies where nothing seems to go right. Ben Stiller’s character, Greg, spends a weekend with his girlfriend Pam at her parent’s house. This is the first time that Greg has ever met Pam’s parents. And if that weren’t stressful enough, the reason for their visit is because Pam’s younger sister is getting married.

The whole movie is based around the idea of how stressful it is to meet the parents of your significant other for the first time. Greg tries desperately to make a good impression on Pam’s parents, especially her father. But everything that Greg does seems to back fire on him. Through a series of accidents and weird events Greg ends up giving Pam’s sister, the bride a black eye the day before the wedding. He manages to cause the septic tank to overflow, flooding the back yard with sewage which just so happens to be the place where the wedding is being held. Greg ends us being responsible for a cat shredding the bridal gown into pieces. At one point he almost burns the house down. And those are just a few of the things that go wrong.

To be fair to Greg, none of the other characters in the movie help him out any. All of the characters whether consciously or unconsciously, do things to try to impress others or save face with others. Pam’s dad does a background check on Greg to try to prove to Pam that Greg isn’t good enough for her. The groom, who is a doctor, tries to make himself feel better by dissing Greg for being a male nurse. No one in the movie seems very comfortable in who they are, instead it seems like they are constantly seeking approval from other characters in the movie.

To be entirely honest, this is one of those movies that makes me really uncomfortable. Each decision that the characters make, makes me that much more uncomfortable. I can see how their half truths, their misrepresentations, and their power plays will ultimately get them into trouble. In fact, when I watched the movie, I found myself so uncomfortable that at one point I found myself talking out loud to the characters in the movie as if I could change their mind or their course of action.

I think part of the reason that so many people find this movie funny, and the reason I find it so utterly uncomfortable, is because it speaks to a common experience amount us. We all know what it’s like to try to save face in front of others. We all know what it’s like to try to make a good first impression, especially with our significant other’s parents. There is a part of each of us that is looking for acceptance and belonging. There is a part of each of us that cares what other people think, and so, at times, we find ourselves more concerned with what other people think then what’s right.

And that is exactly where we find Herod, in today’s scripture reading from Mark. Herod is caught in a myriad of complicated relationships. We read about how Herod tries to navigate these complicated and often competing relationships. Just like in the movie Meet the Parents, Herod’s attempts to save face turns out dreadfully bad.

Last week we found out that Jesus sent the disciples out two by two, to the surrounding villages. The disciples went out proclaiming that all should repent. They drove out demons and healed many people. The disciples are doing all these things by the authority given to them by Jesus and in the name of Jesus. This week we find out that word is getting around about the success of the disciples’ ministry. We’re told that the success of their ministry has lead to Jesus’ name being more and more well known. In fact they are so successful that word makes it back to King Herod himself.

The success of the disciples’ ministry in the name of Jesus has lead to a debate about who Jesus is. Some are saying that Jesus is John the Baptist, who has been raised from the dead. Others are saying that he is Elijah. And still others believe that he is just a prophet, like the prophets in the old testament. But when Herod heard of it, he said, “John, who I beheaded, has been raised.”

It’s at this point that we hear the story of how Herod ends up ordering the death of John the Baptist. Mark tells us that Herod liked to listen to John, despite the fact that he was often perplexed by the message John proclaimed. Herod knew that John was a righteous and holy man so he protected John, even from Herod’s own wife, Herodias. Apparently, John had been telling Herod that he was wrong from taking Herodias as his wife. Herodias was previously married to Herod’s brother Phillip. Jewish law considered it incest for a man to marry his living brother’s wife. This led to John proclaiming that Herod’s marriage was unlawful. Needless to say, that didn’t sit very well with Herodias, so she wanted him dead.

The whole situation put Herod in a really awkward spot. On the one hand he feared and respected John, knowing that he was a righteous and Godly man. And he liked hearing John speak, even if the message left him confused. But on the other hand he couldn’t very well let John go around telling everyone he was unlawfully married. He couldn’t allow someone to go around spreading a message that might be a threat to his power. And on top of that, he has Herodias, his wife who wants John dead.

Maybe Herod thought he had found a compromise by having John arrested. After all, that prevents him from going around undermining Herod’s authority as king, but it still keeps him alive and Herod could listen to him whenever he wanted. And maybe it will placate Herodias. But, as we soon find out, Herodias is not satisfied with John’s imprisonment, she wants him dead and her opportunity to have him killed arises at Herod’s birthday.

Herod put on a banquet in celebration of his birthday. He invites everyone who’s anyone, all the nobles, politicians, and even the military officers. During the banquet Herodias’ daughter comes in and dances before the king and his guests. Herod is pleased with her dancing and seeing that his guests are pleased as well, Herod offers her a gift as a reward. He tells her that she may have anything she wants, up to half of his kingdom. It is quite a lavish promise made in front of a very influential audience. Maybe Herod was caught up in the moment and made an impetuous promise without thinking it through. Maybe he figured the girl wouldn’t have the audacity to really ask for half his kingdom. Maybe he was trying to impress his guests with his generosity. Whatever the reason, Herod makes the promise and Herodias seizes the opportunity.

The girls runs out to her mother, Herodias, and ask what she should ask Herod for. Herodias’ response is immediate and decisive, ask for the head of John the Baptist. So the girls returns to Herod, in front of all his guests, and asks for him to immediately give her the head of John the Baptist on a platter.

Mark tells us that Herod was “deeply grieved; yet out of regard for his oaths and his guest, he did not want to refuse her.” Herod seems caught between knowing the social implications of his actions and acting morally. Herod didn’t want to kill John the Baptist, but in the end, he was more concerned about saving face in front of his guests than protecting a man he knew to be righteous and holy.

Herod’s situation is extreme. His situation was life or death. Although the situations we find ourselves in are usually not as extreme as Herod’s, we still face these dilemmas. We all know what it’s like to care about what other people think and to try to please those around us. It’s part of human nature for us to seek acceptance and belonging. And often in life those needs seem to be in conflict with what is right and moral. Daily life seems to present these Herod-like dilemmas for us to navigate.

College students know this dilemma all too well as they are often forced to chose between a major their parents approve of and will pay for, or a major that they are passionate about and feel called to. Teenagers daily face the dilemma of whether or not to tell someone that their friend is pregnant, or doing drugs, or thinking about killing themselves. Young professionals are often faced with the choice between doing what’s right or doing what will get them ahead in their careers. Parents are forced to decide what’s the best way to love and parent children in the face of ever changing technology and exposure to more things at younger and younger ages. Adults are forced to choose between working more hours at their job or spending time with their family.

Some of the decisions we are faced with clearly have right and wrong choices. Other decisions have much more ambiguity. Herod’s situation seems to be in the category of clear right and wrong choices. His situation seems so simple to us: Don’t kill a man that you know to be righteous and holy. For us, that clarity comes in part because we view Herod’s situation through the story of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus. We know that John is the precursor to Jesus. We know that John is a man sent from God to prepare the way for the message of Jesus. The simplicity of Herod’s situation comes in part because we view it in the context of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus.

The challenge for us is to view our choices in that same context. Are we making choices out of self-preservation, out of a need to protect ourselves or to further the kingdom of God? Do the choices we make support society’s status quo or are they part of God’s transformation of the world?

The dilemmas that we are forced to make are often fuzzy and ambiguous. It’s often difficult to figure out what the best course of action is. But life doesn’t permit us to sit on the side lines. We are forced to make choices about how we will live every day. Asking ourselves if the choice we are about to make is for the sake of self-preservation, or for the building up of the kingdom of God can help us think through the choices. But even that question doesn’t always bring clarity to a situation. Unfortunately, indecision, isn’t an option. Because in life, making no decision, it the same as making a decision.

Herod probably thought he had managed to avoid making a decision about what to do with John the Baptist by putting him in prison but his birthday banquet proved otherwise. Sooner or later we will be faced with the same sort of dilemma where we are forced to choose. As parents, you may not know how or when to talk to your kids about all sorts of controversial things. But your kids are going to be faced with those decisions regardless of if you talk to them or not. You can talk to them, and have your voice be a part of their consideration, or you can choose not to talk to them, and allow media and their friends to have the only voice on the issue. Maybe you see your colleague at work headed down the wrong path and you wonder whether you should say something and risk the friendship, or if you should keep quiet and let them make their own choices. Regardless of the specifics of the situation you find yourself in, life forces us to make choices. Not making a choice isn’t an option, it’s just a choice of its own.

Life is full of choices, big ones and small ones. Will be like Herod and make those choices out of self-preservation or will we be like John and chose to be a part of God’s transformation of the world, regardless of the personal cost?

Amen.