Young Adults

Young Adults. It's a phrase that means different things to different people. And if you are a young adult, the various ways the phrase is translated can be a source of much frustration and angst. In fact, I'm feeling some of that frustration and angst right now.

I'm in the process of trying to coordinate a mission trip for young adults from our conference. But as I've been calling around trying to find a site for our mission trip, every time I mention the phrase young adults, I automatically get the question, "Oh, well what ages is your youth group?" To which I reply, "This is a group of young adults. It is not a youth group. They are all over the age of 18." I know alot of youth groups go on mission trips, and that different policies apply to youth and to adults. If it was just a simple matter of clarification, I wouldn't be frustrated.

But that question is symbolic of the way the church views young adults. So often young adults are viewed as old youth and they are treated much the same way. It's really no wonder that the vast majority of churches have almost no young adults. Too many churches put too much emphasis on the word young and not enough emphasis on the word ADULTS. It's hard to feel like a contributing part of the community when you're still treated like someone who needs a chaperon and it's even harder to feel like the community is a place where you can learn and grow, when they haven't even recognized the growth you have already experienced.

Young adults can vote, and thereby play a role in impacting the future of our nation. Young adults can be drafted into the military and forced to serve their country in combat. Young adults can live on their own, enter into a legally binding contract, buy a house, work a full time job, and are faced with all the same realities and decisions a middle aged adult is. That doesn't mean we are perfect, we don't make all the right decisions. We are going through huge periods of transition, and are discovering in new ways what our own identity is. And that process is messy.

In all of that chaos and transition, we need the church. But young adults don't need the church talking down to us or acting like we are still children (even if in some cases we are young enough to be your children or grandchildren). What we need is for the church to be willing to enter into the messiness with us. We need the church to recognize that we have grown and learned and developed some of our gifts, spiritual and otherwise. We need to be given opportunities to use those gifts in meaningful ways. We need to be given opportunities for leadership. We need the church to treat us like the adults that we are, and give us responsibilities that reflect that level of individual maturity. We need to know that God loves us even when we mess up, even when we don't know who we are, even when we don't know what to do next.

We aren't perfect, and we don't pretend to be. But we are adults and the church ought to treat us as such.