I just wanna live until I die

I was driving home from a meeting today with the radio playing. I wasn't really listening, sorta lost in my own thoughts when I heard a line from a song that caught my attention. In a thick country twang, a voice sang, "I just want to live until I die." I have no clue who sings it or what the rest of the song was about but that one line got me thinking: How many of us stop living long before we actually die? And what does it really mean to be alive? Is it just a matter of eating and breathing? Is it a matter of functioning mental capacities? Is it a matter of being happy? Is it about being in relationship with our family? What is it that makes us truly alive?

When I think of someone who's really alive, I think of someone who has a clear purpose in life, someone who makes intentional choices about what they are not going to do as much as they decide what they are going to do. I think of someone who is willing to risk trying new things. I think of someone who has an understanding that we are called to community and is intentional about developing their relationships with other people. But I still think there's something missing in that description.

What do you think is "living until I die"? If you know what the name of the song is or who sings it feel free to include that too.

If you died tonight...

"If you died tonight, do you know where you'd go?" It's a question most of us have heard at some point in our lives. It's one that many people have posed to unassuming strangers as a lead-in to conversation about salvation and developing a relationship with Jesus. But usually people on the receiving end of that question just want to run in the other direction or they simply ignore the questioner and walk right by them.

I'm all about questions related to faith. I think questions, thoughtful questions, help to draw us into deeper relationship with God as we seek to uncover more about God and ourselves. But I've never liked the "if you died tonight" question. I've always found it to be a question that's little more than a thinly veiled threat and is often perceived as such by those on the receiving end.

But aside from the question being antagonistic, what really frustrates me about that questions is that it reduces this incredible life-giving relationship with God to a sort of mechanical spiritual fire insurance. The question pre-supposes that the entire point of a relationship with Jesus is to secure salvation after we die. It becomes a get out of jail free card where we can escape eternal fires of damnation and go straight to eternal bliss.

One of the few things that just about all Christians can agree on is that a relationship with Jesus means that when this life ends, there is still a form of life after death; that in accepting Christ we will also experience the resurrection of Christ. But to say that's all that a relationship with Jesus is about is to do serious injustice to the Good News proclaimed by Jesus.

A relationship with Jesus is as much about life here and now, not just about life after death. A relationship with Jesus is about experiencing forgiveness of sins,and freedom from the many things that dominate our lives. It frees us from the rat race, the constant pressure to make more and buy more and consume more. A relationship with Jesus is about being part of a family that supports one another, loves one another, encourages one another, admonishes one another, serves one another, honors one another, teaches one another, learns from one another, forgives one another and so much more. A relationship with Jesus is about admitting that we need God's grace to give us the strength to live as God calls us to live. A relationship with Jesus is about experiencing the abundant life that Jesus offers us right now, not just life after death. The really ironic thing is that it is in relationship with Jesus that we discover our true-selves.

Yet so many of our evangelism and out-reach tactics don't reflect what a relationship with Jesus is really about. Which makes me wonder, Why do we do evangelism? What's our motivation for reaching out to others? Are we simply trying to make our churches bigger, with bigger buildings and busy schedules? Are we simply trying to demonstrate our own power, how persuasive we are, one more convert is one more notch on our belts? Are we trying to save people from some form of hell after death? Do we have any good news to offer for this life? Do we have any words of hope or love or healing to share for people who are suffering or oppressed or held captive by hate?

The way we reach out to society and interact with others ought to reflect what a relationship with Jesus is all about. Any support groups or caring ministries ought to be done out of genuine concern for others, wanting to help people heal from the pain of experiencing the death of a loved one, or the pain associated with divorce, or the stresses associated with cancer or other chronic illnesses. Any caring ministries that are really just a way to boost the membership of your church is going to be perceived as shallow and disingenuous. Ministries that are born out of a deep desire to build relationships, to offer comfort and healing and hope to people who are in need of that, regardless of if they ever become members of the church, is what Christians are called to.

Ultimately Christianity is about relationship. Relationship with God, with Jesus, and with our neighbors. In my opinion, the "if you died tonight" question undermines what Christianity is all about.

Falling Apart

I recently saw a show where a high powered lawyer quits her job and becomes a dog walker. One of her co-workers runs into her on the street and they go to lunch together. When her co-worker suggest she might be able to get her job back, she says she doesn't want it back. He's really shocked at this and wants to know why. After all, she was always the first one there in the morning and the last one to leave, so he assumed she loved her job. She responds that she did that not because she loved her job, but because she was worried that if she didn't do that she would fall apart. She says she was worried that without all the people to please, without all the tasks to do, deadlines to meet, there would be nothing to hold her together.

Her co-worker subsequently asks an interesting question: "What is it that holds you together?"

What is it that holds you together? It is your job? A relationship? Your Kids? Your spouse? God? Money?

I think often rather than take an honest look at our lives and ourselves, we convince ourselves what actually holds us together is the things that we want to hold us together. Some of us like to think it's God that holds us together when we are practical atheists. Some of us like to think it's our family that holds us together, when we spend little or no time with them.

I guess another way to ask the question would be, what is it that gives us the energy to do everything else in life? And not just physical energy. What is it that gives us the mental energy, the drive to do everything else in life? What is it that holds you together?

Learning the piano

So anyone who knows me, knows that I often talk about how unmusical I am. I don't sing well, I have a hard time recognizing pitch and tunes and have basically zero rhythm. All of that basically adds up to me being not very musical.

Well I have decided that despite all the barriers (whether perceived or actual) I have to learning music, I am going to try learning the piano. Don't worry, I adequately forewarned my teacher that she is working with pretty much zero natural talent and that I know very very little. She amazingly enough, is ok with this.

So I had my first lesson today. my fingers feel quite clumsy in this process of trying to smoothly transition from one key to the next. I often found my self trying to use my fingers or wrists to create the pressure on the keys rather than allowing the pressure to come all the way from your shoulders like you are supposed to.

Have you ever wondered why practice makes perfect? When you are learning a new physical skill like playing an instrument or throwing a ball, your body learns new neuro-pathways. In other words, your body has to learn new ways to transmit information from the brain to the different muscles you are using. After awhile, the pathways become familiar to your brain and you are able to preform the activity with more precision and with more easy.

I think there are a lot of similarities between learning a new physical skill and developing new habits. At first when you are working towards a new habit, whether that's working out more, spending less money, eating better, doing devotions in the morning or any other habits, it's hard to get into the routine. Just like our brains learn new neuro-pathways to use different muscles, we have to learn new pathways to develop the new habits. We have to learn new patterns of behaving and making choices. We have to practice those over and over again before they slowly turn into habits.

As you drag yourself out of bed a little earlier to make it to the gym, or you resist the urge to buy the latest and greatest gadget, remember that practice does make perfect. It really does get easier over time.

Commitments and Resolutions

Below is a transcript of the sermon I preached this morning. The scripture passage is 2 Kings 5:1-14. Click here to read the passage.

Commitments and Resolutions

Well, it’s that time of year again, the time of year when we break our New Year’s resolutions. It’s been just shy of two weeks and many American’s have already broken their New Year’s Resolutions. It’s such a common phenomenon that if you type “keeping New Year’s Resolutions” into google, you’ll get 27 million results.

Many of us make New Year’s Resolutions every year, some of us make the exact same resolution each year but can just never seem to keep it. Each year, the end of December rolls around and finds us resolving to make the changes that we weren’t able to keep the year before. But by the end of January most of us have given up on those resolutions.

It’s not because we don’t want to keep our New Year’s Resolutions. I don’t think any of us go into it thinking, “well I’m going to make this resolution but I’m not going to do anything about it.” We don’t make resolutions that we don’t really want to keep or that we don’t want to follow through on. We want to achieve our resolutions, we want to change. That’s what sparked the resolution in the first place. But change is hard.

Change requires us to actively go against the current flow of our lives. Change requires us to do things differently than we are used to, differently than we’ve done for the past years or decades. We have to choose, over and over again a new path, until slowly over time that new path because a habit. We have to commit ourselves to doing things differently if we want to achieve the goal we’ve set for ourselves.

Truth be told, many people who don’t keep their resolutions, never really even start on their resolution. There was a man who told his friend that his new year’s resolution was to get in shape and work out. The friend asked, “When will you actually be doing that?” The man replied, “at least three times a week.” The friend said, “If it’s not in your calendar, day and time, you’re not committing to it.”

That’s how it is with most of us. We make the decision to do things differently, that we’re going to be better this year, we’re finally going to buckle down and do it! But when it comes to committing to the steps necessary to effect those changes, most of us have a hard time committing the time, the energy, or the discipline.

We’ve all heard the same tips before, and most of those 27 million google results tell us the same thing. If we want to achieve our new year’s resolutions we need to commit to the steps necessary to bring it about.

Losing weight, getting in shape, eating healthier, or just overall improving our health is one of the most common new year’s resolutions. Our scripture lesson today is a story about a man who was committed to changing his health.

We’re told Naaman was a great military commander who had a lot of success in life. But that success didn’t prevent him from wanting to make some changes in his life. He suffered from leprosy, a skin disease. He wants to improve his health by being cured of his leprosy and as we’ll see he goes through a lot to be healed.

His servant girl tells his wife of a prophet in Israel who is able to cure the leprosy. So Naaman goes to the king and tells him what the servant girl said. At this point in the story, right at the very beginning, Naaman is already farther along in the process to achieve his goal than most of us ever make it on our New Year’s Resolutions. Naaman is committed to being healed so he takes the first step.

Naaman doesn’t simple sit back and think to himself, “Isn’t it a shame that I’m not in Israel.” Nor does he say, “If I could ever get permission from the King, I would go to Israel to find this prophet.” Instead he goes straight to the king. Naaman wants to be healed, and now that he knows there’s someone who can do that for him, he takes the first step in a new direction. He goes to the king and asks for permission to go to Israel.

If we want to achieve our new year’s resolution, we have to take that first step. If you’re planning to work out anymore, you need to commit to a specific time. If you’re planning to quit smoking, you need to throw the rest of your pack away, or talk to your doctor about how to quit. If you’re planning on getting out of debt, the first thing you need to do is sit down and look at what you actually spend money on. Resolutions take a while to achieve but it starts with that first step.

Naaman took that first step by talking to the king of Aram who gives him permission to go so Naaman packs up a bunch of silver and gold and garments and goes to the King of Israel. The king of Israel reads the letter from the king of Aram, and then proceeds to have a less than helpful response. The king of Israel rips his clothes! And he cries out, “I’m not God. I can’t cure him. The king of Aram is just picking a fight with me.”

The king’s response is so intense that the word gets around about what happened. Elisha the prophet hears about it and sends a message to the king telling him to send Naaman to Elisha. So Naaman does as the messenger says and heads for Elisha’s house. But when he gets there yet another messenger comes out and tells him Elisha wants him to go wash in the Jordan river 7 times. It’s at this point that Naaman gets upset.

I don’t blame Naaman for giving up and walking away in a rage. It hasn’t exactly been a smooth or direct journey. There were many points in his journey so far where he had to make a decision about continuing towards his goal or giving up. He had to decide to act on the information his servant girl gave him and talk to the king of Aram, he hard to decide to go to the king of Israel, he had to choose to follow the messenger and go to Elisha’s house. At this point he has to choose if he wants to follow the prophet’s directions or not.

The same is true for us. Often the road to reaching our resolutions is longer than we want it to be with more twists and turns than we expected. We have to choose over and over again to continue towards our resolution. If you’re trying to stop smoking, you have to choose multiple times a day to resist the urge to pick up a cigarette. If you’re trying to lose weight, you have to choose multiple times a day to each better or to work out more. If you’re trying to get out of debt you have to choose not to buy unbudgeted items every time you’re in the store. Making new year’s resolutions a reality involves a series of choices.

But, like Naaman, we don’t always make the right choice. Sometimes we give into temptation. Sometimes a warm bed and an extra hour of sleep wins out over our commitment to work out. Sometimes that piece of cake wins out over our commitment to eat better. There will be times when we won’t make the right decisions. We aren’t perfect, and we shouldn’t expect ourselves to be.

The key is to not give up on our resolutions because of the occasional setback. Naaman was ready to give up and go home. The text even tells us that he went away in a rage. The only thing that keeps him from heading home entirely is his servants who approach him. His servants convince him to give it a shot, to keep going.

So Naaman comes back and goes to wash in the river Jordan. He has to wash not once but seven times. Even after coming back Naaman has to choose over and over again to continue towards his healing. Each times he comes up out of the water he has to choose to wash again.

Sometimes when we’re ready to give up and throw in the towel, it takes an encouraging word from a friend or spouse or accountability partner to get us back on track. It can be so easy to give up on our resolutions the first time we revert back to old habits or old patterns. It’s easy to get discouraged and to give up. It can be really discouraging and you begin to think that the resolution just isn’t achievable, that you just can’t do it.

If you really want to achieve your new year’s resolution, one of the best things you can do is find yourself an accountability partner. If you’re trying to get in shape, find a partner to workout with you. If you’re trying to quit smoking, find someone you can call when you think you can’t resist the urge any longer. At the very least, tell someone about your resolution so they can check in with you and see how you are doing.

The good thing about needing to continually choose new patterns of behavior is that when you occasionally revert back to old patterns, it won’t be long before you’re presented with a choice again. If you make an unhealthy choice for a meal, that’s ok. It’ll only be a few hours before you’re presented with another opportunity to make a healthy choice. Having someone that you can celebrate the achievements with and who can help support you in making good choices, can help a lot in recommitting yourself to your goals.

In the end, Naaman is healed of his leprosy. His healing is in part due to the choices he made, the effort he put into seeking out his healing. But his healing was also due to the activity of God in his life. God was behind the scenes working to heal him. Likewise God is at work behind the scenes in our lives helping us to achieve our resolutions. God wants to help us become the best version of ourselves. But we have to do our part. We have to choose over and over again to commit to a new way of doing things. We have to commit every day and sometimes multiple times a day to the changes we want to achieve.

Maybe you’re one of the people who have already broken your new year’s resolution. That’s ok. Don’t give up on yourself! God hasn't given up on you! Don't give up on yourself. You can still achieve that resolution. Find yourself a partner. Recommit yourself and get started, or restarted, today.

Amen.