You won't believe what I heard...

It's amazing how many of our conversations start out that way, only to be followed by some juicy piece of gossip with questionable reliability. It is even more amazing to think about how much gossip we are exposed to through the media. Many radio stations have a special time each morning that goes over celebrity gossip. We have entire magazines that consists of nothing but gossip, Countless tabloids sport pictures of celebs in compromising situations. Even the reliable newspapers and stations occasionally run pointless celebrity gossip.

We don't just gossip about celebrities, we gossip about co-workers, bosses, family, friends, people we don't like, people we are jealous of, and just about anyone else we have some connection with. Countless conversations around lunch tables and water-coolers consist entirely of gossip. Not to mention all the phone, text, and IM conversations that revolve around gossip.

Gossip is so much a part of our culture that it's hard to tell if our culture's fascination with gossip is what drives the media to focus so much on gossip, or if it's the media's fixation on gossip that desensitizes us to it and integrates it into our culture. But one thing is certain, we are inundated with gossip everyday to such an extent that most people have trouble differentiating gossip from normal conversation. So how do you know when you are just sharing news or information about someone and when you are gossiping?

If you have difficulty determining if something is gossip or not, here are some basic questions to ask yourself:

1. Is it true? Often we gather information and pass it on, without ever considering the source from which we got the information. If your source is not reliable or you have serious doubts as to the accuracy of the information, then it's probably gossip. This question also applies to things that are true but taken out of context and construed in a false way.

2. Is it kind? This goes back to the age-old wisdom of generations of parents "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." If it's not nice, if it's not something you would want someone to say to you, then it's probably gossip. If you are saying it to tear someone down rather than build them up, then it's gossip.

3. Is it timely? Is this an appropriate time and place to share this information?

4. Is it necessary? Do other people have a need to know this information? Is it helpful to them in some way or are you sharing this information just because you want to be known as the person who's always in the know?

5. Does sharing this information help you or someone else become a better disciple? As Christians, we need to be concerned about growing as disciples and helping others to grow as disciples. If we share information that creates an obstacle to someone becoming a disciple or living out their faith then it's probably gossip, but at the very least it is destructive. But if that information can be used to help others grow in faith and in their love of God and neighbor then it's worth sharing, and probably not gossip.

The season of Lent is approaching. Lent is a season of self-reflection and trying to be better Christians. It is a season during which many people give something up as a reminder that God has given so much for us. As you consider what you might give up, this year rather than giving up chocolate or sweets, try giving up something that might actually make a difference in your life or someone else's. If you're at a loss for ideas, try giving up gossip for lent. It may surprise you what a difference it can make in your life and the lives of those around you.